James Shelton Shoning March 25th, 1947-November 7th, 2009

I somehow thought this blog would end up with my happy middle finger sticking up at everyone who doubted dad's recovery. A big "HAH, I TOLD YOU SO!!

Sadly it isn't.

Dad was sent back to Oelwein this past Tuesday. He was doing fabulous. He even told the nurses how much better he was feeling. On Friday around 6, I talked to Martha and she had just got an update that he was very alert and doing fine.At 10:30 I got a hysterical phone call that dad was in cardiac arrest and they were taking him to the hospital. I immediately went to Scotts. We pulled out of the driveway and I called the hospital and spoke to the doctor who worked on him. She said that the ambulance was able to revive him, but he was very sick, his white blood cell count was very high and to get our butts up there. She was having him flown to Covenant in Waterloo.

I was shocked. I know nothing is wrong with his heart, so what could it have been? I thought maybe he was septic from something, but how could he have gotten that sick in such a short amount of time?

Once we got to the hospital, they had him in CT scan, so we had to wait. After watching what seemed to be 3 episodes of 25,000 Dollar Pyramid in the waiting room, the doctor finally came up and took us in "The Room."

He told us how sick he was and that it looked like that he had a stroke. He was unstable but they were going to continue to do more tests. We asked to see him. He took us back and the second I saw him, I knew there was nothing left to fight for. One of his pupils was blown and his eyes were shifted up to the right. No reaction to light at all. I just looked at Martha and shook my head no.

We decided to stop all life saving measures. At 4 AM, we took him off of life support in the ICU and gave him morphine and ativan for comfort. We all stayed by his side, telling him stories, listening to music and holding his hand. Jordan and I had chairs pulled up to either side of him and had our heads on his legs. I had fallen asleep listening to the rhythm of his quite breaths. Jordan yelled my name and I jolted awake to see him breathing very slowly. We screamed at everyone to get back in the room and we were all with him as he took his last final breaths, talking him through it.

My dad died at 10 PM.

Now the hole that was in my heart that was created when my grandma died has become the size of what feels like my entire body. Dad is the glue that holds us all together, what always held me together. He was just like my grandma, had the ability to hold every one's attention and just had a sparkling, radiant personality that just drew people in. Always the center of attention.

The center of my life that I(we) worked so hard to save has just been ripped from me. He was right, he told me that he would die because of his brain and I told him he was wrong, and he would die from something stupid. I honestly thought that. It doesn't matter though, because I secretly hoped he would never die.

I see how many lives my dad has affected. When I started this blog it was because so many people kept asking me how he was and I would forget who I told what to. I have had people as far back as college, even the navy write to me about him. I have had people tell me that their co-workers who don't even know dad read my blog because they are interested in his life through his friends.

I am so angry that he had to be so far away through all of this! It isn't fair that he couldn't be surrounded by all the people who read this every day. No one should have to go what he went through, it was absolute hell. I can't believe he held on so long. Even after we took the vent off yesterday, we thought it would be a matter of a few hours. It was 18.

My goal was to get him home. I guess if you look at it in the religious sense, he is now. If we are talking location, he will be in Carlisle soon. I wanted him home. Sitting in front of the TV watching the L Word, or Battle Star Gallactica. I want him at the bar, throwing his empty beer bottle across the table when he was done to let the waitress know he needed another one. I want to hear him sing the stupid Newfie songs and see him walk around with his shirt off slapping his chest and pretending to punch every one in the face. I want to see him taking pictures of car accidents and high school seniors. I want to see him make everyone around him turn into a gullible idiot, because he had the ability to do so. I want to hear his complete inappropriate sense of humor at the wrong time. I even want to hear him yell at me and tell me how stupid I am. I want him to meet the children that I have some day and be the goofy grandpa. Hear is dumb "hen weigh" jokes and how he would yell "SNAKES!" when he would hit those rough road patches before a stop sign or tell Jordan to look in the air at the dead bird.

No one will ever replace the man that was my father. He was truly a one of a kind man. My life will never be the same now and I think I can even go as far as saying that Carlisle wont be the same now. I hope to give him the best celebration of his life and the best send off he deserves. His life was taken from him way too young, but now his suffering is over and all of ours has just begun. I love you Big Jim. I hope you and Skippy are at peace in Heaven now. (Or Octopus Garden) I love you, we all love you......

I HATE BRAIN ANEURSYMS
The End

Oelwein

Dad is back in Oelwein, much to the chagrin of others who may think he belongs elsewhere. But I am keeping my mouth shut.

Let's just hope he thrives there now.

Sunday - update from Scott

I got here around noon - dad was awake and alert and had been weaning since about 8 or 9 am.

It took me a minute to find him because nobody told me they moved him to a different room for some reason. This new room is a bit smaller, but he has a better view of the TV. Not sure why or when they moved him.

It's now almost 3pm and his O2 sat has been around 98-99 and even hit 100 a few times. Can't do much better than that.

The nurse says his bedsore is looking really good with whatever treatment they've been doing for it.

This is probably the most awake and alert I've seen him in quite a while, so I've been talking to him quite a bit, giving him as many updates as I can think of. I showed him some pictures of Zane and Alison's baby on my netbook. He seemed to enjoy that.

The nurse gave me a cup of ice chips and I pretty much fed him the whole cup until it was gone. He really liked it and wants so more. He normally complains that his mouth is dry and all I've been able to do for him in the past is a little tap water on a sponge/swab. This has to be a lot better.

I'll post another update later.

Surgery

Dad's surgery went well. They didn't find an abscess and they determined the radiologist read the film wrong. It was a tube that they had inserted that the radiologist saw. Idiot. Anyway, he pulled through nicely.

He is currently weaning. Martha said he has been wide awake more than a few times since his surgery. He is sleeping now. Im sure they have him on even more pain meds, which is actually exciting if he is that doped up and able to breath on his own.

I got a call back from Tom Harkin's office. I will give that lady a call back later and see what she has to say.

Surgery

Dad is scheduled for his colostomy tomorrow. The plastic surgeon came and looked at the abscess and it is more in the peri-rectal area, so he didnt want to touch it and referred it back to the surgeon to see if he wanted to drain it. I am sure he has it because his last name is Shoning and not from the bed sore. :-)

They say that his wound looks a ton better now than it did when he came in. All pink, fresh tissue.

They are giving him a new diuretic that I guess is given to people who are specifically on ventilators. Makes them a bit more successful at weaning. Must have some sort of lung properties in it. They are weaning him 6 hours on, then a few hours off now. It helps him build stamina.

He is also getting physical therapy daily, but he is so puffy with fluid now, its hard to do it. He is back up to almost 300 pounds again. That is a lot of fluid.

That's all I have for now.

Poppa

Coleman and I went to be with him yesterday. He really seems to have a sense of peace about him now, like he feels okay being where he is.

He was pretty sleepy most of the day. He is on a really strong pain patch and is getting morphine also to suppplement the remaining pain. He sill complains that his shoulder hurts. He really wanted a lot of water yesterday. The nurse allowed me to give him some ice chips and he loved it.

Its a lot harder trying to figure out what he is saying now, because he is so high on pain meds. When he was awake, he wanted to watch CNN and when we left he didnt throw a fit. He knows he is having surgery for the colostomy this week and he was fine with it.

The staff there are really nice. I like them all a lot. Scott is going up today to spend a little bit of time with him at dads request. I took of video of him saying hi. Its on Colemans phone now. Ill post it up later.

Hell Yes!!!

Dad weaned yesterday for 12 hours. He could have gone longer, but they put him back on so he wouldnt tire out and would be able to go again today. Which he is, and doing well.

They got the results of the CT scan of his pelvis back. He has a HUGE abcess in his bed sore. They are going to have a plastic surgeon or a general surgeon take a peek at it. They are seriously considering giving him a temporary colostomy bag because they just can't keep that wound clean unless they do, and we really need it to heal. Wounds like that can be fatal if they aren't treated correctly. That is how Christopher Reeve died and I am sure he had the best of the best medical care.

I am SO freaking happy he is where he is. These people are a God send and he really needs it.

Thanks everyone!!!